Bazinga!?!!

So, a number of hyper amusing things have happened to me in the last week or so, which I believe to be the Universe's way of trying to make up for screwing me over again and again and again in basically every aspect of my life. And I have decided to share them with you!?!! Or at least a few of them. This post would just go on and on and on FOREVER if I told you everything. And to be honest, even if it wouldn't go on and on forever, I still probably wouldn't tell you everything, because Ima a raging Brat-Burger. -sticks tongue out- Deal with it!

Firstly, I would like to tell the tale of something HILLARIOUS that one of my Karate Students said to me Monday Night.
Background! As, any of you who actually care would know, I scratched my eye taking my contacts out and while back. So, I'm not allowed to wear them for awhile. Which means that I've been wearing my glasses a lot, obviously. Anyway, I went to Karate and was teaching as usual, two weeks til the next student test, so there are a lot of people coming in for reveiw, but other then that it was simply Karate as usual. And then I left with my brother and Izzy, cause she needed a ride home, and one of my students followed us out. Jason.
So just as we're getting into the car, Jason comes over to me and says, AND I QUOTE!
"Excuse me Ma'am, I noticed that those glasses make you look more intimidating."
Hahahahahaha!?!!!?!! This is all true. Anyway, I started at him for a moment or so and then said "Uhhh, thank you? I'll see you next week." 'Cause I mean, really, how does one respond to something like that?

Also, I would like for someone to please explain, how I can chop literally SIX INCHES of my hair off and have like only twelve people will notice. And yet, I stop wearing my contacts for a month and all of a sudden I'm hearing, "When did you get glasses?" every TEN MINUTES!?!! And the best part is that every single person that has asked me has seen my glasses before in the past. What the hell, does NO ONE pay attention to me?


Now, I would like to tell you all of the Dr. Phone Murderer Incident.


And I would like to start off by saying, I hate Girl Jeans! The pockets are wicked shallow and literally nothing stays inside them, as nearly any girl can testify too. So naturally, each and every time, I go to the bathroom or change my pants or sit down, I have to check my phone or it falls right out of my pocket! And I, being of razor sharp wit and clever reasoning, have just recently decided to start conteracting that as often as I remember too. Hahaha.


So! The other day when I went to the docter's office to be fingered by Cruella Deville and they had me change into that stupid gown thingy that they always make you wear, I took my phone out of my pocket and put it down on the exam table so that I wouldn't drop it on the floor. Smart Plan, right? Wrong. For after I changed into the stupid gown and the docter came back in, she moved the stupid peice of paper that they put on top the exam table and my phone was sent crashing to the floor.


Now, I have dropped that phone about NINETY EIGHT MILLION TIMES, and nothing has EVER happened to it before. And yet, for some baizarre reason, this time the stupid thing SHATTERED!?!! That's right, shattered. My screen now looks like somebody punched a stained glass window. It's fabulous really. So now, I'm stuck using my old pink razor. Which I find to be throughly awkward now, because my other phone was soooo much smaller and I don't have the nessicary symbols to make this, =^.^= face anymore. But it's whatever, I didn't lose any of my numbers. Which is good. Although, I am going to be super bummed if I lose all of my pictures from that phone. Infact, I may even cry if that's the case, because I had some many pictures of my Flashimus Maximus on that phone.....



And now, onto The FANTASTIC Adventures of CAPTAIN ELF BOY and BUBBLY CAT GIRL!?!!

Or at least that was the plan originally. As of right now however, I have decided that a happening of such EPIC proptions deserves a post of it's very own. WITH PICTURES!? ....IN TECHNICOLOR!?!! Soooo, you guys will just have to wait a bit longer to read about how EPICALLY EPIC AND HILLARIOUS and.... painfully lame I am. Hahaha. I mock your pain as if you really care. Ha!