Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Chad is Stuck!?!!

We join our heros in the Sewers shortly after Lenard appears and attacks them.

Nicademus and Darnell: .... Shyt kicker.

Angela: -points Dust Buster at Leonard- Now your Mother has asked me to come up here and kill you.

Leonard: -moves to attack Angela-

Angela: -turns the Dust Buster on herself- ONE STEP CLOSER AND I'M A CLEAN MAN!?!!

Krystal: -grabs Angela's arm and pulls her out of the way- Get out of the way, you daffy bastard!?!!

Leonard: HEATHER!?!! -goes after Krystal- RAWR!?!!

Krystal: AHHHH!?!! I'm not Heather!?!! -runs behind Blaise and Angel-

THEN SUDDENLY THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN AND SAILOR MOON, MERCURY, MARS, JUPITER, URANUS, SATURN, LUNA, DIANA AND ARTEMIS BURST INTO THE ROOM!?!! Cause that's not a random assortment of Sailors or anything.... Hahaha.

Vlad: ....Where the hell did that door come from?

Sailor Jupiter: -super gasp- DAIMON!?!!

Sailor Uranus: -punches her left hand- Let's murderlize him!

Sailor Moon: Sailor Scouts HOOOOO!?!!

Artemis: -nod, nod- I expect nothing less then gratuitous violence from you girls.

Emma: -gasp- KITTIES!?!! -scoops up Luna, Diana and Artemis and cuddles them against their will-

Darnell: Like hell I'm sitting this one out. -pulls gun out and starts shooting at Leonard- DIE YOU UNDEAD MUMMY, DIE!?!!

Sailor Mercury: Bubble Spray!?!!

Leonard: -instantly dazed and confused and lost- Ehhh?

Sailor Mars: Burning Mandala!?!!

Sailor Uranus: WORLD SHAKING!?!!

Angela: -looks at Sailor Moon- Ya know, you remind me of the Babe.

Sailor Moon: What Babe?

Angela: The Babe with the power.

Sailor Moon: What power?

Angela: The power of Voodoo!

Sailor Moon: Who do?

Angela: You do!

Sailor Moon: Do what!?

Angela: Remind me of the Babe!?!!

Sailor Moon: -cries- I'M SO CONFUSED!?!!

Angela: I SAW MY BABY CRYING HARD AS BABE COULD CRY! WHAT COULD I DO!?!! MY BABY'S LOVE HAD GONE, AND LEFT MY BABY BLUE!!?! NO BODY KNEW, WHAT KIND OF MAGIC SPELL TO USE!?!! -dances like David Bowie-

Emma: Slime and snails!?!!

Angel: ... Or puppy dog tails?

Blaise: THUNDER OR LIGHTNING!?!!

Diana: Guys! We are trying to fight a monster here...

Angela: And Baby said?

Luna: -squirms out of Emma's arms- NOW SAILOR MOON!?!!

Sailor Moon: Oh right!?!! -busts out magic wand-

Angela: -pout- That is not how the song goes...

Sailor Moon: MOON HEALING ESCALATION!?!! -spinning, twirling, sparkly attack of utter death and destruction-

Angela: That's more like it. -starts dancing again- DANCE MAGIC! DANCE MAGIC DANCE! JUMP MAGIC! JUMP MAGIC JUMP!?!! PUT THAT BABY'S SPELL ON ME. SLAP THAT BABY, MAKE HIM FREE!?!!!

Leonard: LOLOLOLOLOL!?!! -knocked over backwards by a big, pink, concrete wall shaped like a heart and accidently crushes Darnell's replacement Cobra in a Basket- LOVERLY!?!! -Disintergrates and in his place THE SEAL OF THE METATRON appears alongside a broken Daimon- DEDZ!

Darnell: NOOOOO!?!!!

Father Vincent: ZOMG!?!! IT CAN'T BE!?!! -runs over and picks up THE SEAL OF THE METATRON and examines it- OHMIGOD IT IS!?!!

Claudia: -totally been here the whole time- I don't know what you are so excited for Vincent. That stupid thing doesn't even work.

Father Vincent: Oh yea? -whips THE SEAL OF THE METATRON at Claudia's head-

Claudia: -In bullet time- Ahhh!?!! -gets hit in the temple and falls over, apprently dead-

Blaise: Direct hit!?!!

Emma: It was super effective!?!!

Xander and Krystal: -jump out of their seats- Wow! -hi fives, followed by a manly arm pump- Yesh!?!!

Father Vincent: VICTORY IS MINE!?!!

Blaise: I think that you mean "Vengence is Mine." -whips out an electric blue guitar and starts jamming- VENGENCE IS MINE!?!! TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE, THOUGH NOT AS REWARDING I FIND! BECAUSE VENGENCE IS MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

Angel: -shakes head- Dude. Seriously? Enough already. You will never be Alice Cooper.

Angela: -nod, nod- BOOT TO THE HEAD!?!! -throws boot at Blaise-

Blaise: -dodges the first one, only to get nailed by a second boot- Ow... -big, big blue eyes- But, But I'm his biggest fan, I-

Angel: I swear to Gawd on high, if you say "I'll follow him until he loves me," I will kill you right here.

Blaise: Well, actually I was gonna change the lyrics a bit...

Angel: -cracks knuckles-

Blaise: Haahhaha. Just kidding! You know that I don't even like that song... Hehehe.... C'mon Vlad! -grabs Vlad's wrist and runs away-

Vlad: Ah!

Nicademus: -raises eyebrow- I can't believe that that actually worked....

Faust: Is that how it happened in the game?

Vlad: Not really....

Father Vincent: -turns around to look at everyone- Do you know what this means?

Everyone: Uhhh.... No. No idea.

Angela: Your mother was a Hampster....?

Father Vincent: What? -confused- No.... It means that I just saved the entire freakin Earth from that psychotic bitch's -points at Claudia's dead body- evil plans!?!! I'm a hero! And I didn't even have to trick Heather into helping me or martyr myself!?!! Whoose the man? -hi fives Pyramid Head-

Emma: YAY! FATHER VINCENT!?!! -throws confetti everywhere-

Angela: -smiles- Life is a Cookie.

Darnell: -not celerbrating-

Nicademus: -pats Darnell's back- Hey, Are you alright Buddy?

Darnell: I am.... -staring at his Desert Eagle, while 27 other guns lay abandoned on the ground around him- Completely out of ammo. -looks up at Nic- That's never happened to me before..... AND WE LOST YET ANOTHER PERFECTLY GOOD COBRA IN A BASKET!?!! -total anguish-

Nicademus: -nearly falls over- That's it?

Darnell: -slightly confused- Yea. What more is there?

Angel: -hangs head- What more is there? Is he serious? -mumbling under her breath-

Nicademus: I don't know. -shrugg- I was just expecting more....

Darnell: -scoffs-

Angela: ..... I have a Cobra in a basket. Would that help? -pulls a random basket out of no where and offers it to Darnell-

Darnell: -eyes light up- What did you just say?

Angela: I have. -super fake French accent- In this Basket. A Cobra.

Darnell: -steals the basket- You've got to be kidding me! -shakes the basket, listening to it closely for the appropreite sounds before ripping open the lid and looking inside- ..... This is a stuffed animal.... -pulls green and black stuffed cobra from the basket-

Blaise: -Steve Irwin Impression- Ain't she a Beaut'!?!!

Nicademus: Quit it Mate. -sarcasm- You're not Austraillian. This is Zarius.

Emma: I'm Austaillian!?!! And I can't spell!!?!

Blaise: Dude. We're not even in Zarius, we're in Silent Hill. -matter of factly- And I have decided that my defualt backround in Silent Hill is Austraillian. Deal with it.

Nicademus: Whatever Man...

Vlad: I don't think that there's ever been an Austraillian Silent Hill character....

Xander -frowns- Now this is just stupid.... Cobra don't come in those colors. Who the hell manufactured this toy? It's not even zoologically acurate..... I mean what kid would want this?

Angela: -shruggs at Darnell- He still works. He's a mute. But he still works....

Darnell: A mute? I doubt it. You probly just turned his volume down or something.... -fiddles with the stuffed snake for a minute or so before he finds the dail on the side-

-crackly noises.... crackly noises..... raspy voice.... crackly noises-

Snake: ... He-

Darnell: Hold on a second. I've almost got it.... -tinker, tinker- There!

Snake: Hello?

Krystal: -smiles- Oh good. You found the Elijah Wood setting.

Xander: Say something, anything!

Snake: Test. 1, 2, 3?

Xander: -sigh- Anything but that.

Faust: This is weird.

Nicademus: It's weird. -stares-

Emma: -nods- Very weird.

Angel: Phucking weird.

Blaise: So what's your name Snake?

Snake: LARRY!?!! LARRY! LARRY! LARRY! LARRRRRYYYYYY!?!!

Emma: He sounds just like Elijah Wood. We can't call him Larry... It's too lame.

Nicademus: What about Bob?

Faust: What about him? That movie sucked.

Blaise: No, we can't call him Bob either.

Nicademus: Why not?

Blaise: Because, isn't Bob an ass?

Father Vincent: Whatever. I think that he's kinda creepy anyway.... I mean, he's a talking stuffed animal. And this is not like Toy Story when he's all cute and cuddly. His mouth doesn't move! He's got cold, dead, doll eyes!?!! It's creepy!?!!

Vlad: Well, he is a doll after all.

Darnell: -smacks the Father across the face- MAN UP!?!!

Father Vincent: ..... Did you seriously just slap me?

Darnell: -shrugg- I was out of bullets.

Father Vincent: You would have shot me!?!!

Darnell: No.... -unconvincing-

Father Vincent: Ohmigod! I can't believe that you would've shot me!?!! You're insane!

Faust: Actually he's not. I'm crazy. You're crazy. Angela is bat crap crazy. Darnell is just violent.

Xander: He's like a dog chasing cars. He wouldn't know what to do with one if he caught it. He just-

Darnell: -interrupts- Yesh. I do. I would find a way to convert said car into an ATV style zombie killing device.

Xander: Uh huh....

Emma: Ya know, Darnell once killed a helicopter with a car.

Vlad: I think that that was John McClaine actually.

Emma: Nononono! True story!

Luna: -glares at Larry the stuffed Snake- I don't trust that thing.... I bet it's from the Negaverse....

TOO BE CONTINUED?!?!!!!

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