Alrite, so I was working on my draft the other day and I started re-reading what I'd
writter only to come to the conclusion that everything I have written thus far.... sucks. Especially the
begining.... -glares at draft- SO! I've decided to change the
begining, In an effort to keep people interested in my story....
Basically I want to change everything around so people get a better feel of Emma's character and why she doesn't care if she ever sees her foster father again, before I up-root her from reality completely. Anyway, here are the changes I was thinking of making...
-After the fight with her foster father, Emma's gonna go straight to her high school, all the while reminiscing about her ex-best friends and her boyfriend breaking up with her, then cursing their
existence, because she'd rather be anywhere but the school.
-Then she's gonna sit on the roof of the school and think about the fight with her foster father. And when she hears sirens she's gonna freak out and run away, cause she can't be caught
trespassing.
-Which leads us to the part where Emma gets hit by the car for running into the road, and Eclipse saves her.
-Then the next morning Emma wakes up in the castle and gets confused!
Personally I think it's better. It's more of an actual intro to the story, you know? But what do you guys think?
ALSO! I was thinking about it earlier and there are
waaaaaaaaaaayyyy cooler way for Eclipse to save Emma/ for Emma to be struck by a vehicle. So,
I'ma change the way that happens.
Some ideas....
-Emma actually does get struck by a vehicle and only manages to live because of her super cool
Vaikas powers. (She'll still pass out though.)
-Eclipse jumps
in front of her or pushes her out of the way and he gets hit by the car instead.
-Eclipse jumps
in front of her or pushes her aside and "HULK SMASHES!" the crap out of the car's hood to stop it.
-The car spins out when it sees Emma and Eclipse has to
shield her,
inadvertently being struck by the vehicle himself.
-Eclipse jumps down from no where and creates this huge fricking crater in the road and flips the car over!
-Eclipse jumps infront of her and claps his hands together to make this crazy sonic pulse thing, that stopps the car dead in its skid marks!
-The driver blows a tire trying to stop, swurves, and then flips over. And Eclipse, oh-so-stealthly pushes Emma down, so the car flys over them, instead of crushing them.
-Or I could keep it the way it is right now. When Eclipse pushes her out of the way and no one gets hit by the car. But I'm not gonna lie, I really kinda wanna run someone over with this
freakin car!
Any other ideas?
Im open to whatever....
Oh, one more thing! Think I should have Eclipse fake Emma's death or just kidnap her or ....what?